Homecoming Etiquette: A Comprehensive Guide for High Schoolers and Parents
Homecoming season is a significant time for high schoolers, filled with opportunities to create lasting memories. It's often their first "real" dance, complete with dates, corsages, and photos with friends. As parents, navigating this milestone requires understanding and preparation. This guide covers various aspects of homecoming etiquette, traditions, and practical advice for both students and parents.
Understanding Homecoming
Homecoming is more than just a dance; it's a celebration of a school's history, pride, and community. Usually a week-long event, it culminates in the homecoming dance. The week often begins with a Spirit Week, where students showcase their school spirit through themed dress-up days.
Traditions
Homecoming traditions vary across American high schools, but some common elements include:
- Spirit Week: Students dress up according to different themes each day to show school spirit.
- Homecoming Parade: Students, teachers, community members, and alumni create floats and march with school bands.
- Tailgating: Families and students gather before the homecoming football game for pre-game celebrations.
- Football Game: The homecoming football game is a major event where students, parents, and alumni cheer on the home team.
- Crowning of the King and Queen: Students vote for the homecoming king and queen, who are crowned at the dance.
- Homecoming Dance: The dance is the main event, featuring decorations, music, and dancing.
- Corsages and Boutonnieres: Traditionally, dates exchange corsages and boutonnieres.
- Photos: Students capture memories by taking group photos and selfies.
- After-Parties: Students and parents host after-parties to extend the celebration.
- Alumni Participation: Alumni often return to reconnect and support the school.
Homecoming vs. Prom
While both homecoming and prom are significant high school dances, there are key differences:
- Timing: Homecoming dances typically take place in the fall (September or October), while prom is usually held in the spring, near the end of the school year.
- Attire: Homecoming attire is generally more casual or semi-formal, whereas prom is more formal.
- Venue and Atmosphere: Prom often takes place in a venue other than the school gym, creating a more formal atmosphere.
- Attendees: Homecoming is open to all grades, including underclassmen and alumni, while prom is often geared towards upperclassmen.
Etiquette for Teens
Manners and Introductions
Good manners are essential for showing respect and avoiding embarrassment. Refreshing table manners and practicing introductions before homecoming can be beneficial, especially for those new to dating.
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Responding to Invitations
Respond promptly to homecoming invitations. Unless there's a valid reason, accepting the first invitation is generally the best approach. Canceling a date for a "better" option is impolite.
Social Media Conduct
Remind teens not to post unflattering photos of others on social media. Homecoming is about making positive memories, and being considerate online is crucial.
Safety and Logistics
Transportation
Arrange safe transportation to and from the dance. Whether it's a parent driving, a carpool with friends, or a group bus, ensure a clear plan is in place.
Curfew
Agree on a reasonable curfew with your teen before homecoming. This prevents last-minute stress and ensures everyone is on the same page.
Communication
If you don't know the parents of your teen's date, make an effort to connect. For group outings, consider starting a group text with all the parents to facilitate communication.
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Emergency Plans
Discuss scenarios involving alcohol, drugs, or disrespectful behavior. Establish boundaries and create a backup plan for getting home safely, including code phrases for discreet pickups.
Financial Considerations
Attending homecoming involves various expenses. Creating a budget can help manage costs:
- Tickets: $15-$30
- Dress: $50-$150+
- Shoes: $0-$80+
- Hair: $0-$100+
- Nails: $0-$30+
- Makeup: $25+
Additional expenses may include professional photos, flowers, dinner, and transportation.
Finding the Perfect Outfit
Know the Dress Code
Familiarize yourself with the school's dress code to avoid any issues on the night of homecoming.
Get Inspiration
Gather inspiration from various sources like Instagram and Pinterest to identify trending styles and preferences.
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Consider Body Type
Choose a dress that flatters your body type. Fitted dresses, wrap dresses, or belted waist dresses can accentuate curves for those with an hourglass shape.
Coordinate with Your Date
While not essential, coordinating outfits with your date can create a cohesive look. Consider complementary colors and styles.
Accessorize Thoughtfully
Choose accessories that complement the dress without overshadowing it. Neutral accessories work well with detailed or colorful dresses.
Parent's Role
Communication with Date's Parents
Reach out to the date's parents to introduce yourself and exchange contact information.
Coordinating Pre-Dance Plans
Coordinate pre-dance plans with other parents, including meeting locations, transportation, and food arrangements.
Hosting or Contributing to Pre-Parties
Consider hosting a pre-party or contributing food, decorations, or party favors to help with the preparations.
Ensuring Safety
Communicate with the group's parents to ensure everyone is aware of the plans and that safety measures are in place.
Addressing Nerves
Acknowledge that your teen may be nervous and offer support and reassurance.
Additional Tips for Parents
Table Manner Refresh
The week before homecoming is a good time to do a table manners refresh and how introduce their date if they don’t know others in the group.
School Traditions
In some regions, like Texas, homecoming mums (large paper flower pins) are a tradition. Other traditions include "asking" someone to homecoming with a decorated poster board sign.
Dress Code Clarity
Asking other parents or friends what the dress code is for homecoming at your teen’s school - whether girls wear short dresses or long dresses, boys wear suits or tuxedos, if it’s semi-formal or formal.
Backup Plan
One of the most important tools you can give your son or daughter is one that can get them out of a situation they don’t want to be in or shouldn’t be in.
Asking Someone to Homecoming
Creative ways to ask someone to homecoming include:
- Creating a scavenger hunt with the final clue leading to the invitation.
- Using a prop from the person's sport or activity.
Ordering Flowers
Order the corsage or boutonniere after knowing the dress or tie color. Order from a convenient location, as the day of the dance can be busy.
Hosting an After-Party
Guest List
Have a list of attendees and stick to it to prevent party crashers.
Supervision
Have another couple help you with the party for extra supervision.
Bag Storage
Have the kids place all bags and purses in a supervised area.
Food and Drinks
Provide plenty of food and drinks, as the kids will likely be hungry after the dance.
Sleepover Considerations
Some kids may have a co-ed sleepover as part of the after-party. If this occurs, ensure proper supervision and separate sleeping arrangements.
The History of Homecoming
Homecoming began at colleges as a celebration for the first football game of the season, with alumni returning to visit their former campuses. The University of Missouri, Baylor University, and the University of Illinois all claim to have hosted early homecoming events.
Floral Traditions
Traditionally, the boy buys a corsage for his homecoming date, and the girl buys a boutonniere for her date. The couple can select the flowers together to coordinate with their outfits. Corsages are worn on the left shoulder or wrist, and boutonnieres are worn on the left lapel of the jacket.
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